so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
