this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
