I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
