is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize