you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
