yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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