YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
