oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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