Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
