before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
