I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
