dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
