my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
