She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
