Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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