I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
