so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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