Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I had to cum in my sink.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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