remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
