I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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