Sry I called you an 8
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
