She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
