I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
