his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
