Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
