I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
