Nicole vs. Life
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
