i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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