evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
