Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
