Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
