so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
