Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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