people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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