he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
