Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
