My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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