What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
