Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
