bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
