i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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