I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
