just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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