Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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