just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
