I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I skipped work to stalk him.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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