I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize