yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
