Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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