It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just googled if crying burns calories
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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