omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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