This girl is more easily done than said...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
