i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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