i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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