I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
