Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
