I got chris browned last night
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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