then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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