Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he puts the penis in happiness.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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