If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
